The training continues

On the truck training today, but not really. I am still on my reset time until tomorrow. The trainer i am with seems to be a good fit with me, persinality-wisr. I am still apprehensive.

Is this a good career choice for me? I know its something i have wanted to do, yet now that i am here, do i really want to do it? I know i will be good at the job, i know i will get it and do well. I am just wondering now is this what i truly want?

The long hours away fron home thus far are really bearing on my mind, i miss my wife, i miss the people i have grown to expect to be around, i miss feeling home. I have felt so lost for so long that i didn't know that i had a home until i had to leave it.

The expectations of the job are straightforward. I will be exposed to them more tomorrow. I am anxious and tired. I feel drained. Will this get better with time or will i just be getting used to the feelings and be able to move them aside? All these questions bear on my heart like a lead weight. Only time will tell.

I will move forward 1 day at a time, take the challenges as they come to me, move past each step until the end of the day then move to tomorrow. I have people depending on me, yet i will be realistic if i feel that this is not for me in the long run. Maybe a regional route that has more home time, or a local delivery thing. Maybe give it up entirely and find something else. These are all possible choices that will be looked at as my days progress.

Depending on myself is not a thing i haven't done before, i just haven't had to do so in so long that i may be out of practice. Sleep for now.

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