One more day...

Its a day before my trip and I think I am going to jump out of my skin due to nerves.

I am confident that I can do the job and pass the training requirement that are set in front of me. I think that it is just the fact that I have been fighting for this for so ling this year that now that the reality has finally come about, I am simply overwhelmed by it.

I put off packing until today and I think I have just about everything I need, I will be going over my check sheet one more time before the end of the night. I am a mix of anxious and terrified right now, not really sure what to do even if there is anything I can do about it All I really feel like doing is putting everything off until the last minute and be consumed in the rush of things so I don't have to think about it.

As deliciously tempting as that may seem, realistically I can't succumb to that temptation. I will be hopping on a one way bus ride to Wisconsin tomorrow, if I am not absolutely sure that I have everything that I need to bring with me, then I will be shit out of luck and will have to scramble to fix it if I can. Yet even that seems appealing, I won't have to think, just react to the emergency.

Fixing issues is all I have ever done, now I will be doing a service job again for the first time in years on a grander scale than I have before. My workplace with be the entire United States and parts of Canada. Calling in sick, not really an option but I have to be damn honest with myself that I am sick so I am not a danger to myself or others. There are a lot of unanswered questions in my mind that will be answered in time, the key for me to master now is to be patient and not stress about things I don't have control over yet. Soon I will have my answers, soon my adventures will start, soon.

Until then, I have to be patient and wait. Relax as best as I can and prepare myself to be open with the information that will be coming to me in the next month. This is a start of a new beginning for me, a chance to really make things work and take the next step in life. It will be hard work and I will miss those whom I care about. I have goals and dreams I want to achieve and God willing, I will be able to make something worthwhile for once.