I have two more days minimum of training. Could be more, we will see. However, i will eventually get back to a terminal to test out. If i pass, cool, if i dont, cool. I will go back to tech for awhile if i can. Most of my mistakes happen because the trainer and i get talking and i screw up. Then i get called on it. It irks me alreadythat i screwed up and i am trying to recover, while i do, im getting negative feedback at the moment im trying to fix things and it fucks me up more. I sometimes wonder if i will screw up as much on my own as i do while with a trainer.
He commented today that he doesn't care if i think he is a good guy or an asshole, all he wants is to make sure i have the skills to not kill myself or others while driving. While on one hand i understand this, i don't have to like it.
That frustration is what is causing my doubt about doing this job. I can't even begin to make a system for myself because he has an established one that he uses and trains me on that one. Again, growning pains.
I am tired, i haye climbing up to the top bunk to sleep, its not as restful as it needs to be. Yet its the only place i have to sleep. The bottim bunk is like 2 inches wider all the way around and i dont have to worry about falling. I need home time and having a tech job is desireable due to being home every night.
Again, this might not be the job for me but i am too stubborn to just quit just yet.
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Hey man,
ReplyDeleteI've been keeping pretty silent because, well, what the fuck do I know about trucking?
But it turns out one of the things I do know is training styles. It sounds to me like he might be doing this on purpose, to see how you work under pressure. It's similar to, say, military boot camp -- and I know guys who take that kind of attitude into other training, even when they've not been in the military themselves.
I'm not sure what else I can say that's useful; I have a lot of ideas, but you're there on the ground feeling it, and I know if I was in your shoes I'd been red with rage, as well. I thought a perspective might help, though.
And hey, at least Wisconsin's pretty lovely this time of year. :)